Google Name

I was not aware that when you type my name into Google search that this blog comes up. I don't know if that is a comforting fact, proving that I actually do exist, or if it's scary, cause a lot of people can read what I write-- and I'm not that great of a writer.

I loveyou so much

You’re my best friend, I can tell.

I love you so much, but you don’t care.

I pray for you, hope you are well.

But nothing prepares me for the pain I have to bare.

Wrote about my friend and boy whom I really liked and yeah.

Hop in behind the wheel of my baby

Hop in behind the wheel of my baby.

Turn the key, hit the gas, all on full blast.

Fly down streets, faster than a bumblebee.

Feel the steering wheel, all woes in the past.

See the surrounding trees, fresh air at last!

Winding roads pass under worn out tire.

Window down, wind rushing in gasps so fast.

Sun beats down rays, as if black hot wire.

The anger I felt burns off through fire.

Joy spreads through me as my foot becomes lead.

Emotions climb as my car soars higher.

The angst and longing in my chest is fed.

Driving is a release of emotions.

Driving is the excitement that fuels life.

Held captive in the cages of the past

Held captive in the cages of the past.

The mind, in they are kept, fettered and bound.

The memories that build throughout time last,

Forever locked in the depths of a sound.

The surface they rise to, the walls they pound.

They, breaking chains, release into the air.

Bursts out, into the open they are found.

Memories naked, everyone sees bare.

Stinging sparks, beneath the surface they ware.

Emotions arise with pleasure and pain.

Cognition is rough, and try not to care.

Times good come forth, rushing like wind they gain.

Memories claim the body and take hold.

Their purpose is life; that is what they mold.

Poem I wrote for english class, it is in Spencierian sonnet form.

This summer

This poem I wrote about a boy I met at work, he and I became really close. and, well, read the poem and it will all make sense....

The first day I see you, you look confused.
I say hi, want to make you feel comfortable.
But I’m afraid, we don’t match.
You are a skater, and I’m just some girl.

Time goes by, I get to know you.
Your smile is kind, your personality too.
The weeks fly by, we talk every day.
We share about our lives, I’m your angel you say.

It’s been months, you’re my best friend.
We share money, and responsibilities till the end.
Time is still ticking, we are still friends
We talk about everything, most important your girlfriend.

Tick tick tick, I fall for you harder.
Your eyes light up when you smile, I fall farther.
You touch me, I feel a spark.
I try to sleep, but you have left a mark.

Summer is rounding an end, we decide to hang out.
You take my hand, around me your arms stretch out.
I feel your warmth, cuddle close to your side.
I feel perfect, the eternities wide.

The night draws to an end, neither of us stir.
On my cheek your lips touch, the world is a blur.
You bring your lips to mine, nothing to regret.
This moment lasts forever, I never forget.

The summer is over no time to talk, life is a whirl.
I’m busy with school, you’re with your girl.
We text a few times, at least keep in touch.
Slowly I know, you are pulling away despite my clutch.

Months after summer, I miss you so much.
I remember that night, remember your touch.
We try to hang out, but no timing is right.
You talk about your girl, I hide the pain with all my might.

Long into school now, different and new.
I miss who you were, who I was with you.
We find time to talk, you tell me you love her.
I’m falling apart, my heart is no longer.

I knew it was stupid, I shouldn’t have gone there.
You talked of her every day, I knew I didn’t compare.
She was what you wanted, I never could be.
There is a whole in my chest, where my heart should be.

I remember the summer, the talking the laugher.
I see your face, smiling everyday after.
I remember what we had, I feel so sad.
My heart is in pieces, the size of sand.

I close my eyes, the memories win.
I feel the warmth of you next to me, the heat of your skin.
I’m in your arms, we are as one.
I open my eyes, and the memory’s gone.

We talk once again, I struggle through it.
You’ve found true love, and you knew it.
I flash back to the look, that day she stomped on your heart.
I’m happy for you I say, as the tears start.

We no longer hang out, we barely talk.
The friendship, the crush, hangs on the stalks.
We were good together, but we could never.
I miss you now, more than I ever.

This is the last time I see you, I’m so confused.
My best friend, my first kiss, we were so comfortable.
But I’m afraid, we just don’t match.
You are a skater, and I’m just some girl.

After a while

Well it's been a while. infact, it has been my first walking out on a job, my first tubing experience, my first kiss, my first boyfriend, breaking up with my first boyfriend, two school dances, half of senior year, lots of decisions about colleges, and a whole slew of drama in between. It has been a real mess; what a senior year!!!

I don't really know what to say now, I just figured I should maybe write something on here seeing as it's been so long. Well, I will let you get back to doing whatever you were doing. Bu bye!

All girls DESERVE their Edward Cullen

so there is this group on facebook that is "tough luck, edward cullen isn't real" and it kind of buggs me. not the group itself, but more inparticularly what this one kid said, he said something to the effect of "I heard some girls talking about how they will settle for nothing less then their own edward cullen. well guess what, no guy is like that" that bugs me because he is wrong. Every girl has the right to her "own edward cullen". see, for me, it's not that edward is perfect that makes him amazing (besides, if you really read the books, he is NOT perfect), it's his unconditional love for bella. And every girl has the right to only settle for someone who can and does love her that unconditionally! all of the people that have poseted on the wall said that edward isn't real and he just takes away all the nice guys chances. well that's wrong too, becaus guess what! if the guys in this world would suck it up and show a girl that they loved and cared about them, THEY WOULDGET THE GIRL!!!! and I think that if all of those "nice guys" aren't up to the chanllenge that the FICTIONAL character Edward Cullen provides, if they can't just love a girl for who she is and show it, then obviously, they aren't worth it and they should step up instead of joining stupid groups just to bash a FICTIONAL competition. For me at least, it's not that edward is perfect and all that, it's how he loves. and yes, I will not settle for anyone who loves me less then the way that stephenie meyer portrays edwards love in "Twilight", because I know that I DESERVE that unconditional love. Every girl deserves that love. and anyone who says that any girl should lower her expectations anymore than that is a fool and a whimp. Girls shouldn't have to lower their deserved expectiontions of love, the guys should step up.